we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
