He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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