there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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