The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
