haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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