so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
