So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
