Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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