I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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