Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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