we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
