Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize