Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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