So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
