Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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