It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
