I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
