Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
