last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
