Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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