My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
