i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
