dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize