Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
