i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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