i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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