For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
