You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
