Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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