okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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