you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
