He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize