i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
