We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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