1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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