i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
