I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
