Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
