No stitches, just platelets and will power
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
