I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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