is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
