Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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