WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
