We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
