I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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