So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
