Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
