the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize