Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
