I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You did what with his pubic hair?
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