Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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