For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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