just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize