If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
