i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
