we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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