I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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