Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
