seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
