i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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